Sometimes I just withdraw myself from reality and I find myself in the lowest of lows, completely detached from everyone. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens. I forget to reply to people or talk to people and somehow I just become so out of touch with what is happening and I can’t be bothered to find my way back into reality.
Today a man came into the charity shop I volunteer at holding a big piece of ham. He asked us for some salt and we told him we didn’t have any, and he told us he’d just come out of prison after 19 years. He then shook everyone’s hand and stroked someone’s hair, before informing us that we were living in a different world and needed to come back to the real one
“You smoke and drink at 13. Your future must be so bright.”
Says the status of the 13 year old girl who posts pictures of herself half dressed and has a different boyfriend every week.
This next generation needs some help.
when people who think that you are mad when you are not actually mad and any statement you make to the contrary just makes you look mad and then you actually get mad because there is no way to prove that you are not indeed mad
- when my followers message me: I'm sorry if this is creepy and we haven't talked before, but I think you're awesome! god this is weird I'm sorry.
- when I message them back: SCREAMS AND CRIES INTO YOUR SHIRT GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL I HOPE YOU FIND $20 ON THE GROUND
what if someone tried to rob a nightclub and he ran in and screamed “everyone put your hands up” and everyone was like “yeah dude” and kept dancing
- People on the internet: Omg! You're so pretty and nice! Someone would be lucky to have you!
- People in real life: Here comes the awkward whale.